Rain Upon Glass
by SpazKit
Summary: Tidus finnaly catches Auron at a moment when he can... see what it hidden. Added a bunch of changes.


Auron is somewhat ooc here. Think of it this way; it's 3 in the morning and Auron has not been able to fully create that emotional barrier he keeps, yes? I would know, things like that take years to create and hold. And yet, he is still somewhat ooc… ah well. Not meant to be Shounen-ai at all, that's just gross. (for Tidus's youth, in that sense)  
  
Made some changes.  
  
  
  
  
  
Rain Upon Glass  
  
  
  
/Hope is… comforting…/  
  
  
  
A single eye flew open as it's owner clutched the bed sheets. His entire body was wracked with tension, his hands almost deformed in their death grip of the comforter. Sweat glistened in the eternal twilight of the city as it ran off his heavy body, drenching the bed and pillows below. Shudders claimed his frame as he struggled to awaken, struggled to evade the remaining whispers of his nightmare.  
  
Before his eye danced a lithe woman, barely clothed, and a merciless and hollow laugh. He moaned and fell back to the dampened pillows, pulling the covers up to his chin as he shivered. His eye began to flutter closed when suddenly, the guardian heard a slight shift of movement. Age old defenses clicked into gear and his senses when on full alert for danger; yet, when he opened his eye, the threat was merely that of a boy, sitting cross- legged upon the carpeted floor of his room.  
  
The boy was frozen, his eyes eerily calm as he stared up at his parental guardian, the sapphire orbs almost glowing in the twilight.  
  
"You were talking, Auron," the eight-year old stated emotionlessly. The child's tone of voice sent a shiver running the length of the older man's spine. Never before had Auron heard Jecht's son talk like… that.  
  
"I was?"  
  
Tidus nodded very, very slowly, and that was all the movement he made. The guardian was growing worried. Boys usually did not act this way. Then again, this boy didn't really like, or trust him, either.  
  
He stifled a yawn and pulled the covers away, revealing his bare, taught chest. Tidus flinched. Auron didn't know why. Outside the large bedroom window, small flecks of moisture gently hit the smooth of the glass, creating strange patterns upon the child's empty face. The whole situation was really disturbing Auron to no end. The tension was as thick as ice, though there was no reason for it, other than the typical distrust that the boy regarded him with.  
  
"What did I say?" he asked carefully.  
  
Tidus's eyes never left Auron's gaze.  
  
"You said, 'forgive me' ".  
  
Auron felt his entire throat close up and his chest suddenly grow heated. He swallowed thickly and took in an unsteady breath.  
  
"Why, Auron?"  
  
The question was not welcomed at all, and Auron actually felt his world spin. Without warning, he sank back to the bed, his wide eye peering from over the cavern of the pillow. Outside, thunder rumbled in the distance, and the rain began to fall harder. Yevon, don't make me deal with this, not right now…  
  
But the boy did not stop his interrogation. He stood, his height a whole three and a half feet, and made his way to Auron's bedside. Tidus's gaze was now just as piercing as his own, and Auron closed his eye in a weak attempt to avoid it and the question being asked. Perhaps it was the rain, rain always made his sentimental. A single tear crept across the rugged and rough face of the swordsman, and Auron made no move to hide it. Oh gods, Auron choked. Oh gods, what have I done?  
  
Perhaps for the boy, this would be answer enough.  
  
Slipping away, sliding beneath feelings, Auron choked on unsaid emotions, things he was struggling to keep inside. Perhaps it was his tired state of mind; perhaps it was the rain. All he was aware of was the overwhelming need to find solace with those he held dear… and being painfully aware that his wants, his past, his dreams… none of it would ever happen. Ever. A long, painful year had passed… and the feelings were as sharp as ever.  
  
The world seemed to fade away, except for the thunder. The loud crashing of thunder remained, mirroring his inner turmoil. Auron felt the pain of loss fresh and new, eating away as his most sacred walls of stability. A nightmare, a silly, stupid nightmare had caused this breakdown? Auron, you are weak, old man. Though he did not cry, small, deep grunts of shaky emotion made their way through his open lips. His hand gripped the pillow so tightly he could have ripped the fabric. Memories came unwilling to his already unstable mind;  
  
  
  
Braska, there must be another way! Please, I beg you, don't do this!  
  
A few, hushed words and off they went to oblivion…  
  
  
  
Jecht! Please!  
  
A close comrade and his lord, leaving him, to die in vain, over, and over replayed in his mind for all eternity…  
  
  
  
The observer that sat cross-legged upon his bed didn't know what to make of the situation. Tidus's father had never done anything like this. The stranger whom was to be his guardian, he was crying and grunting and twitching, all the while not even aware, lost in a waking nightmare. Rain splattered the window in torrents, the water running in single files down the glass. Tidus pondered the situation… what… what would his mother have done?  
  
His mother would have offered comfort and eased him after a nightmare. He could remember her soft, smooth hands caressing his hair and lulling him to peace. Then… that's what he would do, too. But how?  
  
Tidus leaned onto his knees and scooted over to the writhing mass that called himself Auron. Two small hands placed themselves upon the broad and shaking shoulders of the moaning man, and then slid over slick skin to his neck. The boy loosely encircled the guardian's throat and sighed, resting his brown hair against the pillows. His bare knees hesitantly pressed against Auron's stomach as the boy attempted to relax his almost terrified nerves, the impromptu embrace a risky and unsure maneuver. Auron appeared unaware of his presence, at least at first.  
  
The thunder dimmed, leaving a steady but soothing rain to pelt the glass of Jecht's home. The sound was a lullaby, easing the souls of the wounded, at least for tonight. Tidus remained in his position as Auron calmed, the groans and twitches subsiding into murmurs and relaxation.  
  
Auron was hardly aware of Tidus, but he was aware of a warmth that clutched his neck. Aware of the rain. Aware of his duty to fulfil promises to those… lost…  
  
The man almost whimpered as a rust eye fluttered open. He fought to regain control over his fevered thoughts, to return to the present. Auron was not aware of his predicament, and was slightly shocked to find Tidus staring right into his face from above, upwards upon the pillows.  
  
"Why, Auron?" Tidus asked again, his voice melding with the patter of falling rain.  
  
Auron again felt his throat clench in emotion.  
  
"Tidus… I… I failed him. I failed your father… I let him di-"  
  
The words were cut short when a small, still slightly chubby hand placed itself upon his lips. Tidus's gaze was softened, and a sad smile crept across the boy's face. Tidus slid downwards, beneath the sheets, and took hold of Auron's tail of hair, examining the still-black strands that tipped the tail. Auron was at a complete loss, not understanding the situation at all… This, this breakdown, a complete catastrophe, and this boy-  
  
"It's ok, Auron," The child murmured, entwining the hair around his fingers.  
  
It's ok?  
  
What's ok? These feelings? Or… Tidus, accepting his answer and perhaps even himself? It was so surreal. So…  
  
Auron sighed, his breathing deepened in stated emotion. He felt his body relax, the tension of the evening melting away. He lay there for a while with the boy, feeling a little exposed, perhaps. As his own eyelid felt like lead, Tidus continued his through examination, the two radiant eyes still searching. As much as Auron wanted to tell the boy of his father and what had occurred… something held him back, something refused to allow that much to be revealed. Auron wondered why he felt that way.  
  
The thunder echoed softly in the distance. Soon, only the falling of droplets remained.  
  
The rain was drowning out his thoughts, the sounds a soothing background to sweet relaxation. Tidus sighed and rolled over, the boy's back to him. The child took the covers and pulled them over himself and sighed again, snuggling into the pillows and sinking back against Auron's chest. The boy displayed this trust openly, telling Auron without words that he was... accepting his presence, finally.  
  
Auron didn't know whether to be ecstatic or simply more reserved. Yes, he'd wanted to get closer, but, to be /this/ close? Yevon, it could be dangerous, for himself and the boy. But such thoughts were quickly becoming far to complicated as he felt himself grow weary, felt his eye slide closed, felt himself fall…  
  
Tidus recognized the sounds of Auron succumbing to sleep. In the past, he would often watch his father pass out when the drinks were able to overtake Jecht. Auron… was not Jecht. Tidus found Auron to be something of a puzzle. The man was full of turmoil, yet so very strong and resilient. Tidus wondered if this last hour was something he should have seen… or if it had been meant for Auron alone. Tidus sighed and leaned backwards, finding security in the cave of Auron's torso. The boy was afraid of reprimand for a moment, but calmed when he heard Auron's soft breath beating down upon his hair.  
  
A twitch, a groan of trying to get comfortable, and a sigh.  
  
It was silent for the rest of the night, except for the rain and their soft breathing.  
  
  
  
  
  
I hope the changed added to the story. Thanks for the feedback. 


End file.
